{submission}
Having fun isn't a prerequisite to time flying by. It can zoom past you even if you've been trudging through life with the heaviest of feet like I had been (and sometimes have been) apt to do. Everything's just rushed past me, indistinguishable in some horrible-tasting soup: birth, starting primary school, leaving primary school, starting high school, leaving high school—all dashing by right under my nose until I one day turned 18: the age where university, that intruding bastard, finally knocks on my door without missing a beat.
I'll be starting university sometime next year after I'm done with my gap year and I plan on majoring in English. Naturally, this still makes me somewhat jittery even though it's a decision I'm very sure of after years of flirting with other majors before realising that money wouldn't mean much if I hated life half the time for being stuck in a desk job I hate. I hope to use my knowledge to become a writer (and an English teacher if everything flops) and it’s taken ages for me to get to this point, but I genuinely don’t care anymore what people have to say about my choice. At least, most of the time anyway.
Like everyone else, I have plenty of fears about this new stage of life, such as the real and final sinking-in of impermanence. Almost all my friends have started university now and they're all in different parts of the country and even abroad. Being a person who has attended three different primary schools and two different high schools, there's nothing I want more than to finally have a reliable, permanent set of friends and I fear our infrequent contact with corrode the chances of this away, leaving me stuck here once again as the new kid having to make new friends that will leave someday, repeat. The other one—and I'm afraid it's a little juvenile—is that if I don't find someone during these years, then I'll be alone forever. I know it’s irrational, but I can't help having it still eat away at me. Then again, aren’t all fears irrational?
By: @sofias.writing on instagram
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