On Affection & Trust

i feel like people consider me to be weak when i show affection around the person i adore.  i can’t handle their stares, the things they might think as they see us together. the jealousy they might feel going through their veins because they don’t have that certain someone to make them feel that way.  the sadness that could also be there because of the loneliness overtaking them whilst i show how much i care about this one person with sparkling dark eyes and funny ways.  yet i also can’t handle not showing any affection towards my lover. nor to be asked the same question over and over and over again: you two are together? who would’ve thought? you don’t seem like you are... though i think that people also expect someone to show affection to that one person even though it brings them sadness or jealousy. or anything along those lines.  i just don’t want to be considered weak, because my partner is allowed to pass my borders and they are not.  i don’t want them to see who i am on the inside, and not only because they could use that against me.  and then still, when i do show affection in any way shape or form, my partner seems both confused and hesitant because i’m not always like this. maybe i should’ve done things differently from the beginning.  it’s not that i don’t want people to know that you are the person i love- i’m proud of us. it’s the fear and the thoughts in the back of my mind that tell me that i shouldn’t.  because after all, who can you even trust anymore?  By: Robin