From My Heart

Fear grips me as I realize that maybe 

I won't be anything in my life. 

I'm scared of the future. 

I'm scared I'll fail and 

everyone will leave. 

I'm scared that I'll be judged. 

I don't want sympathy,

I don't want pity.

I just want to be alone and 

do something worthwhile.

I don't want to fail because

now darkness sourced from my anxiety is blocking 

every last light that i can see. 

My vision is forcefully blinded,

all i see is grey. 

Yet i know,

i know that i have to keep walking and 

then I'll be out of it. 

When I'm far enough

I'll turn around and see

that it was just a storm and i made it out. 

It wouldn't be easy but I will have learned 

all the tricks to look it in the eye 

and wave goodbye. 

Till i see it again, As wilder, as stronger as its challenger will get.

 -Abigail Thomas

authors note;

I wrote this was I was 15 and wasn't in my best headspace. As you continue reading you'll realize it gets better for me. I wanna share this with anyone who feels it impossible to feel happy again, to remind them that it really does get better.